I started school in late June of 1978. I remember it. terrifying. getting lost, and not knowing what the fuck the bell meant, and my mum buying me a can of freshup and a bird pooing on my yellow jacket.
A month into ( I know that now, didnt then ) this girl started, and she decided she was gonna be my friend. The honest truth is I didn't like her, she was domineering and she smelt funny, and she smothered me. One of those kids with no concept of personal space, she'd random kiss my arm and get all fuckin in my face and yuck I hated it. Noone else liked her either. She was the annoying kid.
We must have broken up for holiday because I decided, no more annoying girl, I was NOT going to be her friend when we came back to school.
Holidays ended. I came back, walked in the class and saw her sitting alone with noone. I couldn't be so heartless so I walked up and asked her if she wanted to play.
DUMB.
entree' the next 15 years of her manipulating underhanded bullshit. She used our friendship to strip me down and give herself all her own personality was not capable of gaining. It was all about being top dog.
I never understood the whole thing, I would have friends, and like some kind of Iago/Rasputin there she was, 'don't be her friend' she'd whisper in my ear, and if me and the other girl hit the skids she'd slide on in and behave as if the girl she'd told me not to like was suddenly her best mate.
I hate that crap. that combining of forces, 2 people joined only by a common friend. Neither are that interested in one another, but suddenly find a perverse satisfaction in being friendly because both are now having some sort of issue with the friend that introduced them. Even when there wasn't a conflict, there she was, ringing up my friends on weekends, inviting them round but not inviting me. I'd find out on Monday when my pals informed me and asked me why I didn't come. I didn't know? Single white female much?
She did that to me all through high school, wormed her way into my group and then usurped me through bullshit and lies. In later adulthood it continued only now she'd moved on to boyfriends instead.
Was she envious? One can only guess. But it wasn't cricket. She'd ring me out of the blue at intermediate school, the only time we were ever not at school together to ask me inane questions like was I spreading rumours about her. What the fuck bitch you are not that important to me. Turn up wearing/owning some object she knew you wanted but couldn't afford, or, whilst out shopping would just buy it out from under you because she could.
In the end, and it did end ugly, she decided she was going to have my boyfriend. She got him a job, moved him out of my house and into hers. Its more complicated and evil than that but that was the moment I thought I shoulda never asked that bitch to play in 1978. She met him the same night I did, and I believe had decided in a moment that he was going to be hers and not mine. She even invited her mother to my birthday to meet him, not because it was my birthday. Funny thing was he never liked her, he just needed to grow pot in her back garden so his parents wouldn't find out. You can lead a horse they say...
This is not how friends behave. We lived together at the time, once again I stupidly invited her to flat in my new house. I should have been shot for my charitability. Her egocentrism astounded me, the way she beleived the world revolved round her like she was the sun. I never understood how after I tried so hard, she could be so bloody ungrateful, and take advantage of me often in a vulnerable state. It was almost parasitic.
I can only conclude through her flagrantly unrepentant attitude that she had no idea how the fuck to say sorry and admit her faults, the sense of entitlement was obvious. Im only releived now shes not part of my life and Im sorry for the small person who has to call her mother, and the bigger person who calls her wife.
A month into ( I know that now, didnt then ) this girl started, and she decided she was gonna be my friend. The honest truth is I didn't like her, she was domineering and she smelt funny, and she smothered me. One of those kids with no concept of personal space, she'd random kiss my arm and get all fuckin in my face and yuck I hated it. Noone else liked her either. She was the annoying kid.
We must have broken up for holiday because I decided, no more annoying girl, I was NOT going to be her friend when we came back to school.
Holidays ended. I came back, walked in the class and saw her sitting alone with noone. I couldn't be so heartless so I walked up and asked her if she wanted to play.
DUMB.
entree' the next 15 years of her manipulating underhanded bullshit. She used our friendship to strip me down and give herself all her own personality was not capable of gaining. It was all about being top dog.
I never understood the whole thing, I would have friends, and like some kind of Iago/Rasputin there she was, 'don't be her friend' she'd whisper in my ear, and if me and the other girl hit the skids she'd slide on in and behave as if the girl she'd told me not to like was suddenly her best mate.
I hate that crap. that combining of forces, 2 people joined only by a common friend. Neither are that interested in one another, but suddenly find a perverse satisfaction in being friendly because both are now having some sort of issue with the friend that introduced them. Even when there wasn't a conflict, there she was, ringing up my friends on weekends, inviting them round but not inviting me. I'd find out on Monday when my pals informed me and asked me why I didn't come. I didn't know? Single white female much?
She did that to me all through high school, wormed her way into my group and then usurped me through bullshit and lies. In later adulthood it continued only now she'd moved on to boyfriends instead.
Was she envious? One can only guess. But it wasn't cricket. She'd ring me out of the blue at intermediate school, the only time we were ever not at school together to ask me inane questions like was I spreading rumours about her. What the fuck bitch you are not that important to me. Turn up wearing/owning some object she knew you wanted but couldn't afford, or, whilst out shopping would just buy it out from under you because she could.
In the end, and it did end ugly, she decided she was going to have my boyfriend. She got him a job, moved him out of my house and into hers. Its more complicated and evil than that but that was the moment I thought I shoulda never asked that bitch to play in 1978. She met him the same night I did, and I believe had decided in a moment that he was going to be hers and not mine. She even invited her mother to my birthday to meet him, not because it was my birthday. Funny thing was he never liked her, he just needed to grow pot in her back garden so his parents wouldn't find out. You can lead a horse they say...
This is not how friends behave. We lived together at the time, once again I stupidly invited her to flat in my new house. I should have been shot for my charitability. Her egocentrism astounded me, the way she beleived the world revolved round her like she was the sun. I never understood how after I tried so hard, she could be so bloody ungrateful, and take advantage of me often in a vulnerable state. It was almost parasitic.
I can only conclude through her flagrantly unrepentant attitude that she had no idea how the fuck to say sorry and admit her faults, the sense of entitlement was obvious. Im only releived now shes not part of my life and Im sorry for the small person who has to call her mother, and the bigger person who calls her wife.
1 comments:
Thank the 'rents for moving so much and sending me to about 8 different schools, pretty easy to learn to tell users to fuck off when you know you are likely only going to be around for about a year.
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